Iris and her daughter Sue reflect on how it feels when she is not asked what she would like, how it makes her feel uncomfortable describing it as though she is not living in her own home. They talk about how they raise problems with the care provider and intervene when care is not thought through.

They talk about whether care workers are aware of the effect this has, touching on what prevents carers from understanding the experience and perspective of the person being cared for. Iris shares experiences of food provided by care support has been poor being served cold, not enough or strange concoctions like soup instead of gravy around a meal, leaving her feel uncomfortable and not listened to.

Sue notes that is is important to ask how someone might like a meal cooked rather than just what you want to east bringing to light what we take for granted ourselves and what being dependent on care looks and feels like.